Welp!

Jun. 26th, 2014 11:30 pm
stellarwind: (Encoded)

Here’s a suggestion. Never let my mind run COMPLETELY rampant around parodizing YA novels. Because this sort of shit happens:

And it is glorious. )

stellarwind: (Encoded)
First of all, never release me near MSPaint when I'm half asleep, or this sort of stupid shit may happen:



(Protip: to defeat the Machine Nun, shoot at it until it dies. Although you may have to kill John Romero first, somehow).

Incidentally, today a person walks into chat after not having been on 'chat for a while and makes his typical entrance line ("I have arrived!") in English for a change rather than really godawful weeaboo Japanese directly yoinked from an anime without realizing that it uses the most arrogant possible way of saying it. Something to the line of "Ore Sanjo". Which instantly jumped into my brain and mutated into "Ore Banjo!"

Because Weeaboo Rednecks is the BEST mental image EVER when I'm half asleep.

"Gosh darn, that there lil' fella is just so kawaii!"

"Well bust mah britches an' call me streaker, that there seems more sugoi than kawaii!"

"... Well, shucks, you're right, Bubba-chan!"

... And then they're all gunned down by the machine nun from earlier. High caliber rounds, designed to make its targets holey.

Jim-Bob-Sama approves.
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It went a little something like this.

Cynthia: So are we going to battle or not?
Me: Yeah, sure.
Cynthia: Every time I'm about to get in a battle my KOKORO GOES DOKI DOKI-
Me: It's called cardiac arrhythmia. You should probably have that looked at.
Cynthia: Oh and my pokemon appear to be radiating happiness. THEY FEEL G...O...O...D.... WHAT ARE YOU?
Me: YOU CANNOT GRASP THE TRUE FORM OF-

BATTLE START!

Me: You know what, nevermind. I'm just glad to hear your battle theme. The last guy I fought had one that was severely meh.

ROUND ONE: Melchior (Volcarona M) VS Spiritomb (Ugly Bag of Mostly Spirits)

Spiritomb: Oh Meow?
Melchior: EVERYBODY DANCE NOW.
Spiritomb: S'cuse me, I can't hear you over the sound of my own double team.
Melchior: ... DIE IN A FIRE.
Spiritomb: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow... Must increase evasion even MORE...

Cynthia: FULL RESTORE!
Me: HAH! YOU TRIGGERED MY TRAP CARD!

Melchior: (Dancing Queen, Young and Sweet, Level 70.)
Spiritomb: Okay, uh, I'm all done healing and stuff?
Melchior: Excuse me, but I do believe I said DIE IN A FIRE!
Spiritomb: O________O Oh /meow/.

Spiritomb has fainted!

ROUND TWO: Excel (Haxorus F) VS Garchomp (Oshi, she's bringing out the big guns.)

Garchomp: HURR DURR DRAGON RUSH! >8U
Excel: Uh... You kind of missed me by a mile there.
Garchomp: ... I knew I should have taken that left turn at-
Excel: MY FACE IS A BATTLE AXE YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID.

Garchomp has fainted!

Excel: That was anticlimatic.

ROUND THREE: Xenesthis (Galvantula F) VS Milotic (Amazonian Rainbow Death Eel, aka Sparkle Sparkle Bishie Fishie.)

Xenesthis: *Compoundeyes Thunder to the face*
Milotic: *Survives with HP in the yellow, shakes off the layer of carbonized ash, sparkles* Well I NEVER. HYDRO PUMP!
Xenesthis: ... Okay, that hurt a bit more than it should have. Ah well, One Energy Ball oughtta do it...
Milotic: *Hangs on by a sliver* HYDRO PUMP AGAIN.
Xenesthis: *still alive* OH NO YOU DIDN'T. KAMEHAME-NERGYBALL!
Milotic: ... meep.

Milotic has fainted!

ROUND FOUR: Excel (Haxorus F) VS Eelektross (Putting the "Lamp" in "Lamprey")

Eelektross: Fear my Null Earth Field! I have no weaknesses! I'M INVINCIBLE!
Excel: ... Mold Breaker. Your Levitate means NOTHING to me. NOTHING!
Eelektross: *noticing fissures on the ground* What the, Earthqua - HEY, I CALL HAX!

Eelektross has fainted!

Excel: *sunglasses* Hax-orus.
The Who: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

ROUND FIVE: Excel (Haxorus F) VS Lucario (Aura, ah-ah-ah, Roma, Roma Ma, Ga Ga Ooh La La, This Anthro's Wearing Pants.)

Excel: Okay, let's do this shi-
Lucario: DRAGON PULSE HADOUKEN YIP YIP YAP!
Excel: (smoke clears, revealing that she has survived with 10 HP and is extremely not amused) As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted... Earthquake.
Lucario: ... Well, I guess it's time to go to the great furcon in the sky...

Lucario has fainted!

ROUND SIX: Excel (Haxorus F) VS Braviary (It is America and So Can You!)

Cynthia: When was the last time I was pushed into a corner like this?
Me: D/P/Pt called, they want their line back!
Cynthia: BUT IT'S MY ONLY LIIIIIIIIIIIIINE ;-;
Excel: Let's end this quickly, then, shall we-
Braviary: *Shadow claws the last remaining 10 HP*

Excel has fainted!

Me: ... Okay, that did not go quite as planned...

ROUND SEVEN: Aegis (Carracosta M) VS Braviary (WARGLEWARGLEWARGLEWARGLEWARGLE!)

Aegis: ... Uh, Dude. I'm level 65. Are you nuts?! This bird is TEN LEVELS ABOVE ME. o-o
Me: It's a flying type. You're a rock type. This thing is all physical attacks and you have a defense from hell. Plus Cynthia forgot to give it Superpower. Now GET IN THERE AND BURY IT!
Cynthia: ... Should have thought of that...
Braviary: AMERICA, FUCK YEAH! *Brave Birds unceremoniously into Aegis and probably gives itself a slight concussion.*
Aegis: ... What was that? I think something hit me? Oh well. *Rock Slide*
Braviary: *Still reeling from the recoil* Ow... I should have thought this... *sees Rock Slide rolling its way* Through. X_X *Manages to barely survive.*
Cynthia: YOU HAVEN'T WON YET I'M HAVING TOO MUCH FUN
Me: ... you definitely need to get that looked at.
Braviary: MUST RISK LIFE FOR AMERICA. LEEEEEROYYYYYYYYY JENKIIIIIIIIIIIINS! *Brave Birds itself into yet another concussion*
Aegis: ... I'M A ROCK TYPE, YOU STUPID BIRD. ROCK. TYPE. SERIOUSLY. YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF. *sighs, and Rock Slides the birdie out of its misery*.

Braviary has fainted!

VICTOLY!

Cynthia: ... Well that was fun. My heart is all over the place. You remind me of some guy who faced a giant dimensional tapeworm. Or was it a girl? I don't even. Changes every other tuesday. You must be Magic or some shit, I dunno. Anyway. I'm here all summer. And in spring. I'd like to see you again. I could wear my swimsuits. I can't decide if I want to wear the white one or the black one. Get it? It's a title drop.

Me: ... Miss Cynthia, are you trying to seduce me?

Cynthia: I'm just dying for company, that's all. All I ever get to talk to is this scary narcoleptic with a gravemind attached to her hair. ;-;

Me: You know, considering the canon age range of the playable characters you encounter, there are some who would consider you a rather questionable character.

Cynthia: At least I don't make them beat up preschoolers for my own personal amusement.

Me and Cynthia: Zing!

Alder: I hate you all. ;-;
stellarwind: (Default)
I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-kiri Rock. I need scissors. SIXTY ONE!
stellarwind: (Default)
«Kera» oh my, cleavage
·StellarWind· ...
·StellarWind· This is how much of a geek I am.
·StellarWind· I read 'cleavage' and I wonder following/before which amino acid.

Too many proteases on me. Yup.
stellarwind: (Default)


Here's lookin' at you, trainer.
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Happy arrival at a completely arbitrary point along the planet's orbit, folks!

I'm not going to go into dramatic new year's wishes. I'm not going to ramble about new beginnings - because most of the time, new beginnings are entirely up to us and have very little to do with the date unless we make them to be. I also feel that I don't think I need a specific date to hope you're all having a smashing time out there on this planet - and if you aren't - that you will as soon as possible and that all things will turn out as well as they possibly can. ^^

And to those ancient cultures who prophecized the end of the world in this year, I dedicate Dragostea Din Tei. ("Maya he?, Maya who?, Maya huh? Maya HAH HAH.")

As for any new year's resolutions? 1280x1024 on the external monitor, 1200x800 on the laptop's monitor.

That is all. Carry on then!
stellarwind: (Default)
Pundora's Box has been opened, and has been steadily projecting moar and more terrible puns for a few days.

Bahamut: i can knit now
Admiral Tupper: Sadly, the only thing I can knit is my brow.
Ninety: i used to know how to crochet
StellarWind Elsydeon: Then you took a needle to the knee?
Ninety: FUCK YOU
Ninety: I hate that stupid joke
StellarWind Elsydeon: My, didn't know you were that touchy about that injury.
Ninety: AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGUHHHIHGHGH
StellarWind Elsydeon: Mission accomplished. (Trots off to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z4m4lnjxkY)
Dr. Kuroboom: One of the guards told me "HANDS TO YOURSELF SNEAK THIEF!" so I stole the clothes off his back.
Test "Shiro-kun" Bughearst: ... I just become a Thanein that particular town and do whatever the fuck I want. Also Ninety shouldn't be so... crochety. B)
Dr. Kuroboom: I'm sure he'll spin you a yarn about how he's on pins and needles about sew and sew.
StellarWind Elsydeon: And expect us to take it as if it were dyed in the wool even though the story hangs by a thread.
StellarWind Elsydeon: (Oh the puns we fabricate.)
StellarWind Elsydeon: (A fine quilt of text-tiling)
Bahamut: i think i hate you all
ch00beh: You don't sound sew sure about that
Ninety: i hate you all
Adrammolech: choobs, kuroboom already made that pun. i mean, i hate to knitpick, but seriously.
StellarWind Elsydeon: Well, what do you expect him to do with us stringing this out for so long?
Bahamut: you guys are leaving me in stitches ¬¬
Ninety: I am never coming back to this website.
ch00beh: I do knit care
Test "Shiro-kun" Bughearst: I'm yarning for some more puns, guys.
ch00beh: no
Dr. Kuroboom: Put a sock in it. All of these puns are cut from the same cloth.
Admiral Tupper: I don't mean to needle, but what are all these puns about?
StellarWind Elsydeon: *sigh* Weave been through this already. >>
Test "Shiro-kun" Bughearst: We can't just leave him bobbin for answers. We need to pin an answer down for him.
StellarWind Elsydeon: And here I thought the end of this particular thread was looming on the horizon...
stellarwind: (Default)
And though he has faded from belief by many, there is still one they all expect. In their tongue, he is Santakiin, Reindeerborn!



Contrary to popular belief, he distributes the damn presents HIMSELF. Well, he used to have Reindeer... but then they took an arrow to the knee.

... In all seriousness, Merry Christmas, folks. Hope you're having a great one. ^^
stellarwind: (Default)


And sadly, they'd do a better job than 343i seem to be doing.

(Insert five hours of nerdrage about Cryptum, Primordium and how bears named Greg do not belong anywhere near writing things even vaguely related to the Halo series).

Ahem.

Anyway, needless to say I've been back here for a while. Landed on August 22nd, and been kind of derping about since. I figured that since I haven't updated LJ in bloody ages I might as well ramble for a bit about what's been going on with me as of late. Caution: This post is going to be a huge fucking novel.

So, first and foremost: the trip. ).

So, TL;DR version - It was an awesome trip and I had a wonderful time with ze lifemate.

Once I got back here, not much happened. I've replayed a few point-and-click adventure games and started a new run of Pokemon Platinum (because I've finished the copy of White I finally got my claws on) and a run of Baldur's Gate 2 (Half-Elf Druids aren't exactly the strongest characters one can play. <<;). A new AC unit was installed in my room (which direly needed it!) and all was relatively quiet.

Until this Sunday. )

But on happier news...

So. I got a new scanner. ).

And that's pretty much the rundown of everything. Hurdadurdalur. Plans for the rest of this month include some reconstruction/redesign work on my room, signing up for whatever courses I have as soon as possible (I hope they're still running that Astrobiology course!) and set up the dorms for THIS year. Oh gods dealing with the bullshit 'reformed' public transportation system that fails to work properly kill me please. x-x
stellarwind: (Default)
... You know, I just had a thought.

Evil magical artifact containing a piece of its creator's soul, attempting to preserve itself (sometimes by affecting the personality or actions of its carriers) because as long as it lasts, the creator cannot be truly destroyed...

Holy shit, Horcruxes are cheap ripoffs of the One Ring.
stellarwind: (Default)
The occipital lobe is the sight-linked area of the brain. It's also the lower-rear area of it. Which is why teachers often say they have eyes in their back. Next, we shall discuss the connection between sound and time travel. Hint, both are related to temporal manipulation.
stellarwind: (Default)
Step 1: Build a huge *eff*ing keyboard the size of a small continent.

Step 2: Plug its cable into the deepest point of the Mariana Trench (closest to the Earth's Core we could probably get, as dumping the cable into a volcano would be rather... counterproductive).

Step 3: Get a few large tag teams of humans to scale this mighty keyboard, and then jump around on the Ctrl+S keys.

Step 4: ???

Step 5: PLANET SAVED.

(Warning: Make sure to keep complete idiots away from keyboard. The last thing we need is the planet being CTRL+ALT+DEL'd. Or Shift-F5'd. That would not be good.)

This entry has been brought to you by Insanity in Green: Because you can't spell 'Environmental' without 'Mental'!
stellarwind: (Default)
Imperfect recognition of Exam Question Sequences induces formation of bullshitosomes on processed cellulose medium.

Results are still inconclusive.

So.

Nov. 21st, 2010 10:58 pm
stellarwind: (Default)
You know that new centipede PokeMon, Japanese named Pendra? I just found out it was named after a centipede genus, Scolopendra, the most prominent representative of which is named... Hold on to your hats...

Scolopendra heros

SCOLOPENDRA. HEROS.

CENTIPEDE POWER READY!


... I would play that. It would probably come with some fucked up motion-control plastic centipede peripheral. >>;
stellarwind: (Default)
Among them the batch of legendary trios for this gen...



Take a look at Cobalon. Doesn't it look like he's missing something?



Better, yes. Quite, quite.
stellarwind: (Default)
Edward Van Halen: Hair Metal Alchemist.
stellarwind: (Default)
It's October 10th, 2010.

10/10/10.

Now we just have to wait until 10:10:10 and watch the universe spew out a glorious pime taradox. XD
stellarwind: (Default)


Kuitarans are awesome sources of experience. Virtually EXP in a Can. And their cry sounds like they're going BAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Sun Gods always were particularily fond of human sacrifice, but thanks to hours upon hours of grinding, Sol has finally reached the culmination of its potential. He is now an Urgamoth and one righteous sun-of-a-bitch. Cytan the Uniran has been pulled out of Mothballs and is on the fast track to becoming a Ranculus.

Elite Four, today I kick your wierdly-typed asses.

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