stellarwind: (Default)
It went a little something like this.

Cynthia: So are we going to battle or not?
Me: Yeah, sure.
Cynthia: Every time I'm about to get in a battle my KOKORO GOES DOKI DOKI-
Me: It's called cardiac arrhythmia. You should probably have that looked at.
Cynthia: Oh and my pokemon appear to be radiating happiness. THEY FEEL G...O...O...D.... WHAT ARE YOU?
Me: YOU CANNOT GRASP THE TRUE FORM OF-

BATTLE START!

Me: You know what, nevermind. I'm just glad to hear your battle theme. The last guy I fought had one that was severely meh.

ROUND ONE: Melchior (Volcarona M) VS Spiritomb (Ugly Bag of Mostly Spirits)

Spiritomb: Oh Meow?
Melchior: EVERYBODY DANCE NOW.
Spiritomb: S'cuse me, I can't hear you over the sound of my own double team.
Melchior: ... DIE IN A FIRE.
Spiritomb: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow... Must increase evasion even MORE...

Cynthia: FULL RESTORE!
Me: HAH! YOU TRIGGERED MY TRAP CARD!

Melchior: (Dancing Queen, Young and Sweet, Level 70.)
Spiritomb: Okay, uh, I'm all done healing and stuff?
Melchior: Excuse me, but I do believe I said DIE IN A FIRE!
Spiritomb: O________O Oh /meow/.

Spiritomb has fainted!

ROUND TWO: Excel (Haxorus F) VS Garchomp (Oshi, she's bringing out the big guns.)

Garchomp: HURR DURR DRAGON RUSH! >8U
Excel: Uh... You kind of missed me by a mile there.
Garchomp: ... I knew I should have taken that left turn at-
Excel: MY FACE IS A BATTLE AXE YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID.

Garchomp has fainted!

Excel: That was anticlimatic.

ROUND THREE: Xenesthis (Galvantula F) VS Milotic (Amazonian Rainbow Death Eel, aka Sparkle Sparkle Bishie Fishie.)

Xenesthis: *Compoundeyes Thunder to the face*
Milotic: *Survives with HP in the yellow, shakes off the layer of carbonized ash, sparkles* Well I NEVER. HYDRO PUMP!
Xenesthis: ... Okay, that hurt a bit more than it should have. Ah well, One Energy Ball oughtta do it...
Milotic: *Hangs on by a sliver* HYDRO PUMP AGAIN.
Xenesthis: *still alive* OH NO YOU DIDN'T. KAMEHAME-NERGYBALL!
Milotic: ... meep.

Milotic has fainted!

ROUND FOUR: Excel (Haxorus F) VS Eelektross (Putting the "Lamp" in "Lamprey")

Eelektross: Fear my Null Earth Field! I have no weaknesses! I'M INVINCIBLE!
Excel: ... Mold Breaker. Your Levitate means NOTHING to me. NOTHING!
Eelektross: *noticing fissures on the ground* What the, Earthqua - HEY, I CALL HAX!

Eelektross has fainted!

Excel: *sunglasses* Hax-orus.
The Who: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

ROUND FIVE: Excel (Haxorus F) VS Lucario (Aura, ah-ah-ah, Roma, Roma Ma, Ga Ga Ooh La La, This Anthro's Wearing Pants.)

Excel: Okay, let's do this shi-
Lucario: DRAGON PULSE HADOUKEN YIP YIP YAP!
Excel: (smoke clears, revealing that she has survived with 10 HP and is extremely not amused) As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted... Earthquake.
Lucario: ... Well, I guess it's time to go to the great furcon in the sky...

Lucario has fainted!

ROUND SIX: Excel (Haxorus F) VS Braviary (It is America and So Can You!)

Cynthia: When was the last time I was pushed into a corner like this?
Me: D/P/Pt called, they want their line back!
Cynthia: BUT IT'S MY ONLY LIIIIIIIIIIIIINE ;-;
Excel: Let's end this quickly, then, shall we-
Braviary: *Shadow claws the last remaining 10 HP*

Excel has fainted!

Me: ... Okay, that did not go quite as planned...

ROUND SEVEN: Aegis (Carracosta M) VS Braviary (WARGLEWARGLEWARGLEWARGLEWARGLE!)

Aegis: ... Uh, Dude. I'm level 65. Are you nuts?! This bird is TEN LEVELS ABOVE ME. o-o
Me: It's a flying type. You're a rock type. This thing is all physical attacks and you have a defense from hell. Plus Cynthia forgot to give it Superpower. Now GET IN THERE AND BURY IT!
Cynthia: ... Should have thought of that...
Braviary: AMERICA, FUCK YEAH! *Brave Birds unceremoniously into Aegis and probably gives itself a slight concussion.*
Aegis: ... What was that? I think something hit me? Oh well. *Rock Slide*
Braviary: *Still reeling from the recoil* Ow... I should have thought this... *sees Rock Slide rolling its way* Through. X_X *Manages to barely survive.*
Cynthia: YOU HAVEN'T WON YET I'M HAVING TOO MUCH FUN
Me: ... you definitely need to get that looked at.
Braviary: MUST RISK LIFE FOR AMERICA. LEEEEEROYYYYYYYYY JENKIIIIIIIIIIIINS! *Brave Birds itself into yet another concussion*
Aegis: ... I'M A ROCK TYPE, YOU STUPID BIRD. ROCK. TYPE. SERIOUSLY. YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF. *sighs, and Rock Slides the birdie out of its misery*.

Braviary has fainted!

VICTOLY!

Cynthia: ... Well that was fun. My heart is all over the place. You remind me of some guy who faced a giant dimensional tapeworm. Or was it a girl? I don't even. Changes every other tuesday. You must be Magic or some shit, I dunno. Anyway. I'm here all summer. And in spring. I'd like to see you again. I could wear my swimsuits. I can't decide if I want to wear the white one or the black one. Get it? It's a title drop.

Me: ... Miss Cynthia, are you trying to seduce me?

Cynthia: I'm just dying for company, that's all. All I ever get to talk to is this scary narcoleptic with a gravemind attached to her hair. ;-;

Me: You know, considering the canon age range of the playable characters you encounter, there are some who would consider you a rather questionable character.

Cynthia: At least I don't make them beat up preschoolers for my own personal amusement.

Me and Cynthia: Zing!

Alder: I hate you all. ;-;
stellarwind: (Default)
The media these days is sensationalist. Something happens, they get in there with their equipment and zoom on the bloodiest goriest parts just for ratings' sake. That's nothing new, it's been that way for ages - but sometimes, I find myself truly appalled by what some people would do to get a story and the low techniques they use. Partial quotes, for example, and the reactions of OMG I'M SO SHOCKED dumb-arses to them.

A scene from Portal 2 ahead. Some of you may consider this spoilers. )

Using half-quotes out of context, over-dramatizing shit - all tried and tested methods used by news people to create the next sensation, even if it includes giving a stage to idiots who don't deserve it.

Or take the latest speech by Obama about the middle east where he... really doesn't say anything new. I've seen various reports on it: some (like Fox News, which are neither) make a point on emphasizing the OMG 67' BORDERS thing while other news sources talk at length about the "exchanges of territories that are acceptable to both sides", speaking of the larger settlement clusters remaining in Israeli hands. Same speech, two different focuses, and on every side the talkback idiots who are like "OMG OBAMA IS ANTI-ISRAEL" (even though the man keeps talking about how Israel has the right to defend itself and that the Arab world needs to fucking recognize it or nothing will happen XP) even though quite frankly they States have technically been saying the same shit for decades and we all know absolutely nothing is going to change. >>;

Guess all I'm saying is, the mass media needs to be hit with mass drivers. That is all.
stellarwind: (Default)
Step 1: Build a huge *eff*ing keyboard the size of a small continent.

Step 2: Plug its cable into the deepest point of the Mariana Trench (closest to the Earth's Core we could probably get, as dumping the cable into a volcano would be rather... counterproductive).

Step 3: Get a few large tag teams of humans to scale this mighty keyboard, and then jump around on the Ctrl+S keys.

Step 4: ???

Step 5: PLANET SAVED.

(Warning: Make sure to keep complete idiots away from keyboard. The last thing we need is the planet being CTRL+ALT+DEL'd. Or Shift-F5'd. That would not be good.)

This entry has been brought to you by Insanity in Green: Because you can't spell 'Environmental' without 'Mental'!

So.

Sep. 24th, 2010 10:03 pm
stellarwind: (Default)
Excel finally evolved into Axeface Dragon of Kickass and Unfortunate Carapace Coloration, doing so in the Dragon Spiral Tower north of Sekka City. This tower and the grass around it is also inhabited by these things:



I SAID CONSUMMATE V'S! Man. Gamefreak wouldn't know majesty if it hit them in the face.

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