StellarWind Elsydeon (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stellarwind) wrote2004-01-27 04:11 pm
stellarwind) wrote2004-01-27 04:11 pm
Entry tags:
*sighs*
Lately, for some reason, I've been spending a lot of time thinking about the past few years. The people I've met, the various changes that they underwent, the changes I underwent. Those who remain my friends to this day, and those whom I've slowly drifted from until the point in which so much has happened, that our friendships faded away and precious little is left of them.
Lately, I've been thinking of RPs of ages long gone. Of insane, random conversations. Of old dreams. Of crazy ideas, many of which will never see the light of day (or of the moon, whatever comes first), some of which had, some may at some point in the future. Of emotions, pocket dimensions, spontaneously appearing brick walls, winged cats, dragons, split personalities and lightblades. Of things that made me laugh, or cry, or just raise an eyebrow and exclaim the old equivalents of "Doubleyou-Tee-Eff, Mate? ^^".
And perhaps of the fact that in a matter of months, it will all change radically for various reasons. And then, I know not how much time will I be able to spend online.
But either way, there have been many changes. Some of which I'm happy about. Some of which I'm not happy about. Sometimes I think of the influences these events had on me, and wonder how would have things looked like if certain things never happened, or happened in another way....
And sometimes, these trains of thought crash into each other painfully. (Time is an illusion. A trick of smoke and mirrors. And when you walk smack dab into a mirror, it hurts.) They crash into each other more often than not, in fact...
Meh. I probably need to think of something else, but for some reason my thoughts keep drifting back. I'm beginning to feel that it is slowly "draining" me, in some way. I've been feeling a lot less inclined to draw things, and I spend longer times writing long semi-rants on various threads at various boards that I decided to return to after many months of absence. So I do have SOME way to keep myself semi-busy. I'll probably be fine after a while, but I'm going through a rather rough phase, mentally and emotionally, as of late. That is why, faithful readers of my LJ (yes, all two and a half of you. :P), I've been so semi-depressed lately.
Please forgive the long ramble. I just had to get that off my chest.
Lately, I've been thinking of RPs of ages long gone. Of insane, random conversations. Of old dreams. Of crazy ideas, many of which will never see the light of day (or of the moon, whatever comes first), some of which had, some may at some point in the future. Of emotions, pocket dimensions, spontaneously appearing brick walls, winged cats, dragons, split personalities and lightblades. Of things that made me laugh, or cry, or just raise an eyebrow and exclaim the old equivalents of "Doubleyou-Tee-Eff, Mate? ^^".
And perhaps of the fact that in a matter of months, it will all change radically for various reasons. And then, I know not how much time will I be able to spend online.
But either way, there have been many changes. Some of which I'm happy about. Some of which I'm not happy about. Sometimes I think of the influences these events had on me, and wonder how would have things looked like if certain things never happened, or happened in another way....
And sometimes, these trains of thought crash into each other painfully. (Time is an illusion. A trick of smoke and mirrors. And when you walk smack dab into a mirror, it hurts.) They crash into each other more often than not, in fact...
Meh. I probably need to think of something else, but for some reason my thoughts keep drifting back. I'm beginning to feel that it is slowly "draining" me, in some way. I've been feeling a lot less inclined to draw things, and I spend longer times writing long semi-rants on various threads at various boards that I decided to return to after many months of absence. So I do have SOME way to keep myself semi-busy. I'll probably be fine after a while, but I'm going through a rather rough phase, mentally and emotionally, as of late. That is why, faithful readers of my LJ (yes, all two and a half of you. :P), I've been so semi-depressed lately.
Please forgive the long ramble. I just had to get that off my chest.