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Oh my rofflepies...
Sep. 2nd, 2008 04:19 amRacie alerted me to this article, which both causes epic rage and epic roffle for me.
http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/08/28/uk.dangerous.spider/index.html
First thing of course, is the fact that CNN needs to get its biology straight.
"The desert-dwelling camel spider, actually an insect rather than an arachnid, can run up to 25 kilometers (15 miles) an hour and reach 15 centimeters (6 inches) in length. Its bite is not deadly to humans but can kill small animals."
... Uh, no. 'Camel Spiders' are NOT insects. They are Solpugids, which IS a type of an arachnid (often referred to as Sun Spiders or Wind Scorpions, in spite of being neither).
Also, they're NOT poisonous. They DO however have REALLY powerful jaws. A bite could get infected if not treated, but then again so can a simple knife cut. There is NO way a Solpugid bite could kill a dog. Maybe cut it up a bit, but nothing more than that.
The lollest thing to me, however. is the description the family gave about the creature's attack on their dog:
"My son Ricky was in my bedroom looking for his underwear, and he went into the drawer under my bed, and something crawled across his hand," she told the paper.
She said their pet dog Cassie confronted the creature, which they identified on the Internet as a camel spider, but ran out whimpering when it hissed at her.
"It seems too much of a coincidence that she died at the same time that we saw the spider," she said.
... Obviously solpugids are vengeful little fuckers with psychic powers that HISS at their target and several minutes later it mysteriously dies.
Because the thing killed it with MIIIIIIIIIIIIND BULLETS. That's TELEKINESIS, CNN! How's about the power to move you?
Obviously if it's not hysteria inducing, it's not news worthy.
Racie and I have been bouncing rants back and forth about the supposed dog-killing "spiders", which resulted, at some point, in this:
[00:31:04] StellarWind Elsydeon: And here's the ultimate rofl - this one random's American's blog was all like...
[00:31:38] StellarWind Elsydeon: "Onoes, if they can sneak in people's bags in the UK imagine what they could do in the US?!!! FOR ALL WE KNOW THE US COULD BE INFESTED WITH THEM IN A FEW YEARS AAAHHH TALK ABOUT WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!"
[00:31:51] StellarWind Elsydeon: .... This forced me to reply XP
[00:32:06] Racie: BECAUSE THEY TOTALLY DON'T ALREADY LIVE HERE
[00:32:11] StellarWind Elsydeon: "You know, the US has a thriving population of its own Solpugids."
[00:32:11] StellarWind Elsydeon: XD
[00:32:22] Racie: yes but these ones are FOREIGN
[00:32:25] StellarWind Elsydeon: XDDDD
[00:32:28] StellarWind Elsydeon: THEY'RE NOT AMERICAN
[00:32:29] Racie: derka derrrrrb!
[00:32:29] StellarWind Elsydeon: IN AMERICA
[00:32:49] StellarWind Elsydeon: TRY SPEAKING AMERICAN IT'S THE ONLY LANGUAGE I KNOW
[00:32:54] Racie: they're going to take all our dog-eating american insects jobs
[00:33:08] StellarWind Elsydeon: ... xDDDD
http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/08/28/uk.dangerous.spider/index.html
First thing of course, is the fact that CNN needs to get its biology straight.
"The desert-dwelling camel spider, actually an insect rather than an arachnid, can run up to 25 kilometers (15 miles) an hour and reach 15 centimeters (6 inches) in length. Its bite is not deadly to humans but can kill small animals."
... Uh, no. 'Camel Spiders' are NOT insects. They are Solpugids, which IS a type of an arachnid (often referred to as Sun Spiders or Wind Scorpions, in spite of being neither).
Also, they're NOT poisonous. They DO however have REALLY powerful jaws. A bite could get infected if not treated, but then again so can a simple knife cut. There is NO way a Solpugid bite could kill a dog. Maybe cut it up a bit, but nothing more than that.
The lollest thing to me, however. is the description the family gave about the creature's attack on their dog:
"My son Ricky was in my bedroom looking for his underwear, and he went into the drawer under my bed, and something crawled across his hand," she told the paper.
She said their pet dog Cassie confronted the creature, which they identified on the Internet as a camel spider, but ran out whimpering when it hissed at her.
"It seems too much of a coincidence that she died at the same time that we saw the spider," she said.
... Obviously solpugids are vengeful little fuckers with psychic powers that HISS at their target and several minutes later it mysteriously dies.
Because the thing killed it with MIIIIIIIIIIIIND BULLETS. That's TELEKINESIS, CNN! How's about the power to move you?
Obviously if it's not hysteria inducing, it's not news worthy.
Racie and I have been bouncing rants back and forth about the supposed dog-killing "spiders", which resulted, at some point, in this:
[00:31:04] StellarWind Elsydeon: And here's the ultimate rofl - this one random's American's blog was all like...
[00:31:38] StellarWind Elsydeon: "Onoes, if they can sneak in people's bags in the UK imagine what they could do in the US?!!! FOR ALL WE KNOW THE US COULD BE INFESTED WITH THEM IN A FEW YEARS AAAHHH TALK ABOUT WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!"
[00:31:51] StellarWind Elsydeon: .... This forced me to reply XP
[00:32:06] Racie: BECAUSE THEY TOTALLY DON'T ALREADY LIVE HERE
[00:32:11] StellarWind Elsydeon: "You know, the US has a thriving population of its own Solpugids."
[00:32:11] StellarWind Elsydeon: XD
[00:32:22] Racie: yes but these ones are FOREIGN
[00:32:25] StellarWind Elsydeon: XDDDD
[00:32:28] StellarWind Elsydeon: THEY'RE NOT AMERICAN
[00:32:29] Racie: derka derrrrrb!
[00:32:29] StellarWind Elsydeon: IN AMERICA
[00:32:49] StellarWind Elsydeon: TRY SPEAKING AMERICAN IT'S THE ONLY LANGUAGE I KNOW
[00:32:54] Racie: they're going to take all our dog-eating american insects jobs
[00:33:08] StellarWind Elsydeon: ... xDDDD
