Good Gnus Travel Fast.

A year ago, last Thursday, I was strolling in the zoo
When I met a man who though he knew the lot.
He was laying down the law about the habits of baboons
And how many quills a porcupine has got.
So I asked him: "What's that creature there?"
He answered: "H'it's a H'elk!"
I might have gone on thinking that was true,
If the animal in question hadn't put that chap to shame
And remarked: "I h'aint a H'elk. I'm a G-nu!"

"I'm a G-nu, I'm a G-nu!
The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo!
I'm a G-nu, How do you do?
You really ought to k-now w-ho's w-ho!
I'm a G-nu, Spelt G-N-U!
I'm g-not a camel or a kangaroo!
So let me introduce,
I'm g-neither man nor moose,
Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a G-nu!"

I had taken furnished lodgings down at Rustington-on-Sea
Whence I travelled on to Ashton-under-Lyme
And the second night I stayed there, I was woken from a dream
That I'll tell you all about - some other time.
Among the hunting trophies on the wall above my bed
Stuffed and mounted, was a face I thought I knew...
A Bison? An Okapi? Could it be a Hartebeest?
When I thought I heard a voice... "I'm a G-nu!"

"I'm a Gnu! A-g-nother gnu!
I wish I could g-nash my teeth at you!
I'm a Gnu, How do you do?
You really ought to k-now w-ho's w-ho!
I'm a Gnu, Spelt G-N-U,
Call me Bison or Okapi and I'll sue!
G-nor am I in the least
Like that dreadful Hartebeest!
Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a Gnu!
G-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a Gnu!
G-no, g-no, g-no...

I'm a Gnu!