The True Genesis of Pekinese Dogs

As envisioned by my twisted mind. Apologies to the Chinese. No offense intended.

Kess: Pekiwhattens were bred to look like lions, because it's a sacred animal and the Chinese couldn't have lions. So they made "lion-dogs".

Me: They don't look like lions, though. they look like... Punched-in-the-face little fucks.

Kess: I think the people whom bred Pekinese hadn't ever seen a lion.

Me: Or maybe they were too busy getting in the car to get a good look...

Kess: Or doing monk-kung-fu.

Me: "Today, we tlavel to the Aflican Savannahs to captule a glimpse of the sacled lion, so that we may bleed a bleed of dog that would look like one! Can you imagine the excitement? ^_____^"

"RAWR I'M A LION! >:3"

"HOLY YING-TING-TONG, IT'S A LION, GET IN THE CAL!"

... Imagine a lion running majestically through the savanna, looking all RAWR, charging blindly into a small compact Chinese bootleg of a Hummer.

SPLAT!

Kess: Ying ting tong. XD

Me: By the time it peels its face off the windshield, sliding off cartoonishly, the mental image was forever burned into the mind of our intrepid Shaolin explorers.... and thus was the Pekinese dog born. By breeding tiny little fuckers and running them over with bootleg Hummers.

... they were probably foot powered. Like in the Flintstones.



BEHOLD, THE CHINESE HUMMEL, A MALVEL OF MODELN SCIENCE!