The True Genesis of Pekinese Dogs
Jan. 27th, 2009 01:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stellarwindAs envisioned by my twisted mind. Apologies to the Chinese. No offense intended.
Kess: Pekiwhattens were bred to look like lions, because it's a sacred animal and the Chinese couldn't have lions. So they made "lion-dogs".
Me: They don't look like lions, though. they look like... Punched-in-the-face little fucks.
Kess: I think the people whom bred Pekinese hadn't ever seen a lion.
Me: Or maybe they were too busy getting in the car to get a good look...
Kess: Or doing monk-kung-fu.
Me: "Today, we tlavel to the Aflican Savannahs to captule a glimpse of the sacled lion, so that we may bleed a bleed of dog that would look like one! Can you imagine the excitement? ^_____^"
"RAWR I'M A LION! >:3"
"HOLY YING-TING-TONG, IT'S A LION, GET IN THE CAL!"
... Imagine a lion running majestically through the savanna, looking all RAWR, charging blindly into a small compact Chinese bootleg of a Hummer.
SPLAT!
Kess: Ying ting tong. XD
Me: By the time it peels its face off the windshield, sliding off cartoonishly, the mental image was forever burned into the mind of our intrepid Shaolin explorers.... and thus was the Pekinese dog born. By breeding tiny little fuckers and running them over with bootleg Hummers.
... they were probably foot powered. Like in the Flintstones.
BEHOLD, THE CHINESE HUMMEL, A MALVEL OF MODELN SCIENCE!
Kess: Pekiwhattens were bred to look like lions, because it's a sacred animal and the Chinese couldn't have lions. So they made "lion-dogs".
Me: They don't look like lions, though. they look like... Punched-in-the-face little fucks.
Kess: I think the people whom bred Pekinese hadn't ever seen a lion.
Me: Or maybe they were too busy getting in the car to get a good look...
Kess: Or doing monk-kung-fu.
Me: "Today, we tlavel to the Aflican Savannahs to captule a glimpse of the sacled lion, so that we may bleed a bleed of dog that would look like one! Can you imagine the excitement? ^_____^"
"RAWR I'M A LION! >:3"
"HOLY YING-TING-TONG, IT'S A LION, GET IN THE CAL!"
... Imagine a lion running majestically through the savanna, looking all RAWR, charging blindly into a small compact Chinese bootleg of a Hummer.
SPLAT!
Kess: Ying ting tong. XD
Me: By the time it peels its face off the windshield, sliding off cartoonishly, the mental image was forever burned into the mind of our intrepid Shaolin explorers.... and thus was the Pekinese dog born. By breeding tiny little fuckers and running them over with bootleg Hummers.
... they were probably foot powered. Like in the Flintstones.
BEHOLD, THE CHINESE HUMMEL, A MALVEL OF MODELN SCIENCE!
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no subject
Date: 2009-01-27 01:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-27 02:04 pm (UTC)(Not to mention I probably wouldn't have recognized you even if we did run into each other, given the fact the only clue I have regarding how you actually look like stems from random anime-style doodles. ^^;)
Ah well. We'll get around to actually meet sometime. xD
no subject
Date: 2009-01-27 10:51 pm (UTC)We will, damn it! We can't live in the same neighborhood and not meet.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-27 11:02 pm (UTC)And yeah, 'fairly short' if the traffic lights along the way are feeling beneficial. <<; The bus system around this city needs reworking. ^^;
no subject
Date: 2009-01-28 02:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-28 03:09 pm (UTC)